In order that all men
may be taught to speak the truth,
it is necessary that
all likewise should learn to hear it.
— Samuel Johnson
Feature
Article: Speaking
and Hearing the Truth
In
the children’s fairy tale, The Emperor’s
New Clothes, the egotistical emperor parades through
town without clothing because he is afraid that he might
be ignorant and that his weakness might be exposed. The
people go along with this charade afraid to appear stupid
themselves, commenting on the beauty and elegance of
the emperor’s new outfit, until a lone child utters
the words, “The emperor is naked.” The child’s
father tries desperately to silence him while the impact
of these four words ripples through crowd. In a majority
rules, voting democracy, this community would have no
doubt reached a consensus that the emperor was in fact
beautifully clothed until the voice of the child was
heard.
Simple democracy, the political system we enjoy here in the U.S. is inadequate
for the complexities of organizations, families, communities, and even
relationships. While it also may be inadequate as a system of government,
this article is not about politics and I won’t even pretend to
have a solution in that arena. What is needed today is “deep democracy.” The
term was coined by Dr. Arnold Mindell, an expert in the area of conflict
resolution and process psychology, and refers to the concept that not
just the strongest voices, nor the majority voices must be heard but
all voices in a collective need to be heard to harness the power, imagination,
creativity, and insights in a relationship, community, or organization.
Think back to our original fairy tale. How might this story have been
different had the little child not said a word?
The problem on one hand is that many of us are unwilling to speak our
truth for fear of being in the minority. We fear not being liked, accepted
or even being criticized or fired. On the other hand many people in power
are unwilling to hear the truth from that minority. They don’t
want their power questioned and really believe they know what is best
and right for everyone.
And so it is in groups regardless of size. What wisdom might be hidden
in the opinions of the quiet or shy members? What creativity dwells in
the mind of the eccentric member who hesitates to speak because he is
different, not a member of the majority? What solution might go unspoken
by a low-ranking or uneducated member of a group because of a fear of
judgment? And, what might be possible if we could create a place where
all voices are heard?
Inquiries of the month:
What truth are you not able to hear professionally? How about personally?
What truth are you currently not speaking?
What difference might hearing or speaking this truth make for you at
work, at home?
Article
written by Lora Banks and edited by Joannie Jorczak
Back to Top
Notes
from Joannie:
I
recently completed a ten-month leadership program through
the Coaches Training
Institute where I learned countless lessons. It was
an amazing, powerful experience that I wish each of you
would experience for yourselves. At the end of many of
the activities we used a “talking stick” that
was passed around the circle. Whoever was holding the
stick was the only one allowed to speak at that time
and then would pass it to the next person. It was quite
interesting for everyone to have a turn holding the floor,
even if they chose not to speak (that spoke volumes in
itself). Inevitably in groups there are very dominating
people and very passive people and some scattered along
the continuum. When we used this stick format of speaking
the dominating people had to simply be quiet and give
others a chance to speak.
Growing up, our family of five would sit down to have “family devotions” and
talk about our feelings, our day/week, and whatever else we wanted to
share. We didn’t use a stick or any other structure to make sure
everyone got talk time and was being listened to or at least not talked
over during their sharing. I wonder how things might have been different
if we had. It was only five people, but I bet it would have changed the
dynamics. When one person gets to speak, often the one who doesn’t
speak very often, it is amazing what insight and value can be added.
I find with my clients that universal topics come up again and again
and so often each individual feels very alone when in reality many other
people are going through the same thing. Recently one client was saying
he wanted to bring more heart and fun into his corporate environment,
but the fear was that his manager and colleagues would see him as less
professional. Well, he agreed to talk with his manager about his desire
and said the conversation went very well! He left with a sense of hope
that he could be more himself at work. Cool, huh?
What truth are you currently not speaking?
What truth are you not able to hear professionally? How about personally?
What difference might hearing or speaking this truth make for you at
work, at home?
Back to Top
Complimentary
Coaching Session
As a coach I love helping clients to explore what is true for them and
then get into action based on this truth. If you’d like to learn
more about how coaching can help develop your professional and/or personal
life in a powerful way, contact me for a
complimentary session.
Back to Top
Coming
Next Month: Corporate Development
As we continue to celebrate and enjoy more time with family Intentions
will be coming bi-monthly. Look for the next issue late November/early
December on corporate development: How life coaching can improve your
work-life and much more.
Back to Top
|
